The Holiday Season

     The holidays are the most joyous part of the year, unless of course you are working retail.  Christmas songs become jammed into our skulls. Our social lives all but disappear.  And the once in a while obnoxious customer becomes the every other obnoxious customer. 

     Everyone is the same; everyone waits until the last minute to do their holiday shopping, and worst than that, they wait to do it until late at night when you’re trying to get the store ready for the next day.  What this translates into is thousands of people who are out of time to shop, and are looking to be every employees center of attention.  They expect the fastest most efficient service possible from what are almost always strained, understaffed employees.

     Working retail during the holidays can be even worse if you are employed as a seasonal employee just for the holiday season.  You will undoubtedly be given minimal training and then be expected to fulfill requests without the proper knowledge to do so.

     For example, last year, my first day as a seasonal employee at Toys R Us was Black Friday, which we all know is the single craziest day out of the year. I didn’t know where a single thing was, or how to look anything up, and since I was brand spanking new, it was hard to get other, more experienced employees to stop and help me out. Even this year, when, once again, I was re-hired for the holidays, I was promised to be trained to use the cash register. Now, granted, I’ve had plenty of experience using a cash register, just not at Toys R Us. However, now that I’ve been there for a bit, I’ve come to the realization that not being taught how to use the registers is a blessing in disguise, considering the fact that after ringing up customers for hours on end, most of the cashiers look like they’d rather jump off the nearest bridge, especially after they have to deal with customers who are angry over mispriced items. But couple this with the insane amounts of demands and expectations for customers and you are guaranteed for a stress-filled holiday of employment. And, on top of that, half of the seasonal employees will be laid off after the hours dry up. That’s why I, my friends, try to be the best possible employee I can, especially during the holidays.

5 Ways to Survive the Dreaded Long Shift

Keep Busy

     I’ve already detailed how in a previous post, but keeping busy is the best way to make the time go by faster.

Avoid Looking at the Time.

     

     This one’s a killer. Like they say, “a watched pot never boils,” and that holds especially true for working retail. This has been sort of a mantra for me as I’ve worked retail over the years. The more you stare at the time, the crazier you’ll get, and the less energy and motivation you’ll have to finish the shift.

Eat Something

     You need energy to make it through the day, and something with protein in it works great. Even if you can’t afford to get 5 Guys from the food court, at least bring some sort of snack that you can munch on as the day goes by. Also, keep hydrated, or else you’re going to be crashing even harder.

Interact with Customers

     Just like keeping busy, interacting with customers is essential for making the shift go by quicker. Whether it’s looking for an item, or just shooting the breeze, customers are great for helping to make the time in between your breaks go by faster.

Be Comfortable

     If you’re irritated, you’re not going to enjoy the next 7 and a half hours you have left on the clock. Like I mentioned in the Black Friday post, wear comfortable shoes.  But not only shoes, wear comfortable clothes.  Obviously adhere to whatever dress code you may have, but do so in a way that lets you get through the shift without having to pull up your pants every 5 seconds. 

How to Interact with Customers

     Don’t be weird.  If you lack the social ability to say, “hello, how may I help you,” or to point, then you’re better suited flipping burgers while isolated behind a counter. 

     Working retail is an incredibly sociable job. Those without people skills need not apply, because after all, that’s the meat and potatoes of what retail is all about.  You need to know how to read people, how to gauge their interest in certain products, and how to work them so that they’ll end up spending more money than they originally wanted to.  I know I sound like a typical used car salesman, but they’ve got retail down to a science. But since nobody likes used car salesmen, why not try these simple tips for interacting with customers, especially if you’re new to the job.

Be Friendly

     No one is going to buy anything if you’re too rude to even bother acknowledging the customer.  And not only will they refuse to purchase anything, they’ll go and complain about you to your manager, after which you’ll be in a world of shit.  If you don’t feel like opening your mouth, simply smiling to the customer will go a long ways towards breaking the ice, and at least letting them know that you’re there to help.

Know Your Products

     If you don’t know where things are, or what something does, then you’re really going to frustrate your customers.  Customers hate finding things for themselves, and if you send them on a wild goose chase for something, they’ll end up hating you too. Familiarize yourself with the products in your store.  You can do this by cleaning or putting away re-shop, but at least have a basic understanding of what things do. And if you don’t, ask a co-worker.

Joke Around With Your Customers

     Nothing eases the tension with a total stranger like humor. Customers enjoy interacting with employees they can connect with, or who seem down to Earth. Also, good vibes from a store’s employees is great encouragement for a customer to come back for more.  One of my favorite parts of working retail is shooting the wind with customers.  Not only does it help pass the time, but if a customer really likes you, and is proactive enough, they could deliver some great praise for you to your manager.

     
     In the end, it all comes down to giving the customer what they want. 9 times out of 10, they’re in your store for some sort of purpose or goal. You’re there to help them achieve this goal as seamlessly as possible, so that they can hop right back into their cars and get back to their couches. Where you, of course, wish you could be 

Black Friday

     It may have been almost a month ago, but it’s still the day that haunts every retail employee’s dreams, where we wake up in a cold sweat after having nightmares of angry four-armed customers throwing coupon books at you.  Black Friday, the day where customers are almost always mean, the store is as crowded as a zoo, and your feet get the most intense workout that they will ever have, until the next Black Friday of course.  It’s a day that must’ve been created by the devil himself, so that retail employees who are punished every day out of the year, can be punished even harder on this one dark day. 

     Ok, in all actuality, it’s not that bad.  At least not anymore.  For the last couple Black Fridays I’ve worked, the biggest frustration for me has been finding a place to park my car, especially when I used to work at the mall.  I find that the more Black Fridays you work, the less stressful they become, especially since you have a lot more experience under your belt. 

But for those who are new to the world of retail, Black Friday can be pretty daunting. I remember my first Black Friday. You always remember your first, right? I remember expecting it to be a mob of just wave after wave of relentless customers, but in all reality I spent most of the day wrapping chocolate Santa Clause’s in tissue paper.

     The best way to get through Black Friday, especially if you’re a newbie, is to just be patient and relax.  Customers are like children: if you get worked up, they’ll start to get worked up as well.  Hopefully, you’ll have a capable supervisor who will assign you an area to stick to, so that you’re not left running around all over the 5^th busiest Toys R Us in the world. If this is the case, familiarize yourself with the products in your area, or zone, so that you know what you have and where it is when customers come asking. And if you don’t have an item the customer is looking for, just tell them that it’s Black Friday, and that they should’ve come earlier with all the other maniacs at midnight (or I guess 8:00 Thursday night now).

     Another great way to get through Black Friday is to wear comfortable shoes.  This is a no-brainer for the vets out there, but for the younger guys, this could be easily overlooked.  Although chucks might be in the height of fashion, you’ll be damning them to hell after only an hour of running around on your feet. Shoes with arch support are the way to go, and sometimes, they can be just as stylish.

     But really that’s it. Wear comfortable shoes and be cool. You want to make it through the day with your sanity intact. And if you want to go home early, just think of the nice fat paycheck you’re going to get out of it (after they take out taxes, some of which, like social security, you’ll probably never see, and others like the occupational privilege tax, which is utter b.s). Oh, and bring a drink. Preferably with caffeine. Trust me, on Black Friday, the last thing your manager wants to do is pick you up off the floor.

Bartering

     One of the nice things about working in a large mall is the connections you can make with other retail employees.  You can get free food, store discounts, and stuff put on hold if you know how to play your cards right.  The only problem is, nothing ever comes for free.  “Back scratching” certainly applies to the bartering system that exists in malls, but it comes with its benefits.

     When I was younger, at one of my old jobs (the store is closed now, and has been for several years), I used to be able to trade the food we sold for all sorts of stuff.  There was a nice Indian lady who worked at Auntie Anne’s who used to give me the bulk of their left over pretzels at the end of the night, and whenever I wanted a drink, I could just waltz on over there and get one for free. I could get Mrs. Fields cookies and Cold Stone ice cream, but if I was lucky, I could get something special.

     One time there was a NFL wide receiver who for some reason was signing autographs at a cell phone store.  He has since been charged with accidental vehicular manslaughter and has drifted off into obscurity, but that’s beside the point. One of the guys who worked at the cell phone store just so happened to walk over and tell me about it, and so I bartered for an autograph.  However, to this day I’m still not sure if it’ legit or not, which, unfortunately, is a clear example of the seediness of the mall bartering system.

     Today though I wouldn’t even dream of doing anything remotely like that, but back then, when I was younger and full of apathy towards my employers, it was nice to get free pretzels every once in a while.

Mean Customers

     When it comes to handling mean customers, I find that the whole smile and nod approach is the way to go. They’re always out there though, customers that are so pissed off because of store prices, or a sale they missed out on, or the simple fact that their life sucks, that they have to take out their anger on the poor simpleton with the lanyard.

     I’ve had customers throw products on the floor, yell in my face because we never sold the fruit and nut bar they so desperately wanted, and curse me out, but after years of dealing with mean customers, and seeing how other people deal with them, I’ve learned how to handle situations like those.     Nowadays, if a customer starts to get angry, I honestly start to laugh, because it amazes me how someone would get so worked up in public. I once had a customer who sat on the floor for 10 minutes because they weren’t getting their way with what they wanted. 

     The best way to handle mean customers though is to just be calm.  You getting worked up just as much as them isn’t going to resolve the issue. When customers start to get angry, fall back on the whole “the customer’s always right” thing. Apologize for whatever got the customer pissed off, and then, if you can, put the blame for it on someone else.  “Oh, I’m sorry sir, but my supervisor was the one who put that sale sign there.”

     Or if that doesn’t, work simply get someone else to deal the mean customer. “Maam, I’m just a sales associate, the lowest man on the totem pole, and I don’t know why the assembly fee costs so much, but my manager would be more than happy to explain that to you.”

     Customers yell and get angry just to get what they want. Hell, I’ve done it myself, especially when I’m trying to return something that’s broken and it’s my own fault. The key is to just get them out the door as satisfied as possible, before they start turning off other customers. And then, once they’re gone, you can make fun of them with your co-workers.  At one of my older jobs, we used to keep tallies on a calendar of all of the mean customers we had that day. It gave us something to talk and laugh about later on.

Sampling the Product

     In order to be the best employee you can be, you have to know what you’re selling to  the customers, right? When I worked at the chocolate store, I learned the meaning of temptation.  Here it is, the best chocolates in the world, right in front of you, and if no one notices, you can eat all you want.  I realized though, if I did give in to those temptations, I’d be rolling down the escalators.  It’s hard when you work for a place that sells food, especially when you haven’t eaten in a while.

     Don’t get me wrong though. I did indulge in the Swiss sweets every so often. However, when I did, I made sure to “sample the product” when no one was around, so that nobody could see the fat ass that I really was.  I worked with this one guy one Christmas season who would actively unwrap and eat chocolates in front of customers while he was giving them out as samples.  Let’s just say I made sure not to look like that guy.

     When I worked at Spencer’s, sometimes we’d play around with the cheap toy helicopters we used to sell.  They couldn’t fly for shit, so half the time we crashed them into the displays and dive-bombed our customers ankles. We were all about the party at Spencer’s. But before you ask, no, I did not sample the products we sold in the back of the store. Although occasionally I would have to demonstrate to female customers, to the best of my manly abilities, the proper and most efficient way to use a “personal massager.” Boy that was an interesting job.

     Now that I work at a toy store, I like to fire up the ole Bop It every once in a while. The timeless game of hand-eye coordination is a great way to pass the time at 6 am, when no one in their right mind is shopping for toys. In all honesty, it keeps my brain from turning to mush after I’ve cleaned the same aisle 3 times in a row in order to look busy.  But still, it’s fun to mess around with all the different toys, and press all of the “try me” buttons till the batteries wear out, because after all, who can resist pressing the Hulk’s stomach and hearing him yell “HULK SMASH!” I certainly cant.