Sampling the Product

     In order to be the best employee you can be, you have to know what you’re selling to  the customers, right? When I worked at the chocolate store, I learned the meaning of temptation.  Here it is, the best chocolates in the world, right in front of you, and if no one notices, you can eat all you want.  I realized though, if I did give in to those temptations, I’d be rolling down the escalators.  It’s hard when you work for a place that sells food, especially when you haven’t eaten in a while.

     Don’t get me wrong though. I did indulge in the Swiss sweets every so often. However, when I did, I made sure to “sample the product” when no one was around, so that nobody could see the fat ass that I really was.  I worked with this one guy one Christmas season who would actively unwrap and eat chocolates in front of customers while he was giving them out as samples.  Let’s just say I made sure not to look like that guy.

     When I worked at Spencer’s, sometimes we’d play around with the cheap toy helicopters we used to sell.  They couldn’t fly for shit, so half the time we crashed them into the displays and dive-bombed our customers ankles. We were all about the party at Spencer’s. But before you ask, no, I did not sample the products we sold in the back of the store. Although occasionally I would have to demonstrate to female customers, to the best of my manly abilities, the proper and most efficient way to use a “personal massager.” Boy that was an interesting job.

     Now that I work at a toy store, I like to fire up the ole Bop It every once in a while. The timeless game of hand-eye coordination is a great way to pass the time at 6 am, when no one in their right mind is shopping for toys. In all honesty, it keeps my brain from turning to mush after I’ve cleaned the same aisle 3 times in a row in order to look busy.  But still, it’s fun to mess around with all the different toys, and press all of the “try me” buttons till the batteries wear out, because after all, who can resist pressing the Hulk’s stomach and hearing him yell “HULK SMASH!” I certainly cant.