Just like potato chips, no two managers are alike. Although
I’ve been in retail for a while, I’ve only had a handful of managers due to the
fact that I’ve stuck around at the same few jobs for a while. Despite that
though, I still have seen enough of the managerial world to share some of the
people I’ve had the “honor” of working for.
The Hard Ass Manager
Don’t F with this guy. Akin to a drill instructor, the hard
ass manager wants things done perfectly, on time, and with absolutely no excuses. The hard ass lives for work, so much so
that he’ll bring his pre-teen daughters in to work with you for free. (Yes, that has seriously happened to me
before). If a customer complains to the hard ass and drops your name, you
better hide in the back of house until the storm blows over, because if the
hard ass catches you making one mistake, your ass is grass.
The I Want to be Your
Friend but I’m Still Your Manager, Manager
This manager is incredibly frustrating. One second she’s
telling you about her wild vacation in Vegas, the next she’s chewing you out
for not selling enough promotional items.
She can be incredibly nice and sweet, but really this manager is trying
to save her own ass, and since she is under so much stress to do so, she’ll
take all of her frustrations out on you. It’s like working for your mom; only
she’s a lot more bipolar than your mom is.
The I Care Just as
Little About this Job as You Do Manager
This manager feigns authority. The only time they care about
the job is when the district manager is coming in to visit. When that happens,
they’ll run around like a headless chicken. When that’s not happening though,
they’ll make fun of customers with you while you both sit on the counter. This
is the manager you actually hang out with after work, but not too often,
because that would be, you know, sort of weird.
The Foreign Manager
When asking for direction from the foreign manager, you pick
out key words in order to get the jist of what they want you to do. The culture
clash that comes with working with a foreign manager can be rather jarring,
especially when you’re doing something perfectly normal in America that can be
perceived as insulting on another continent. However, sometimes they can be as
sweet as your grandparents. Think of the “I want to be your friend manager,”
but with a thicker accent.
The I Have No Effing
Clue What I’m Doing Manager
This manager can be a real pain to work for. Newly promoted,
and in dire need to prove their new authority, this manager will ask you to do
one thing, and then tell you to do another 3 minutes later. They leave the
store open when its supposed to have closed, they walk out without setting the
alarm, and they yell out orders into the walkie like they’re calling 911 about
a house fire. You know you can do a better job than them, and you know that
shit rolls down hill, so you do your best to work behind the scenes and get the
real job done so that hopefully, you can leave only an hour later than you were
supposed to, instead of 2.
The Hot/Cool Manager
The hot manager is a blast to work for. You actively seek
direction from them, because that’s an extra 30 seconds that they’re actually
talking to you. Typically as cool and down to earth as you are, everyone drools
over the hot manager, with competitions and wagers starting up to see who will
be the first to get into their pants.
Typically, the hot manager is under so much stress and in need of relief
from work that someone will in fact get into their pants, so it’s all a matter
of who tries the hardest. Just be
careful though. The proverbial “don’t shit where you eat” rings true for the
hot manager, especially if things go sour.
No comments:
Post a Comment